Antisocial? I Know You Are, But What Am I?

My dad brought me a box of memorabilia that included my grade school "memory book." Tucked into its pages was an assessment letter from my Kindergarten teacher:

 

July 1, 1969

Dear Mr. and Mrs. F______:

Holly has been a dignified, rather inflexible, and self-centered kindergartener. It is very difficult for her to project beyond herself. She moves from one close friendship to another but her inability to let herself go makes real sharing impossible. She never really gets involved in doing and other children resent this. She still needs to be reminded about every routine responsibility in the room and she seldom takes one on her own. Practical problems are very difficult for her and she often says," But I have never done that". She stands by helplessly while some other child solves a problem as simple as unfolding a newspaper to make it flat. She often uses the term "Ik" or a similar word when asked if she doesn't want to do papier mache, use clay, paint, etc.

Holly is capable of doing good academic work but here again she has difficulty in solving practical problems, in discovering on her own. She waits for adult direction and decisions, and is quick to blame others when things go wrong. She understands math processes, groups and counts easily and memorizes details. She shows much interest in learning to read and is much less mechanical about it than she was at first. She has a good visual memory.

Holly performs in dance and general physical activity but she does this studied, mechanical thing and has difficulty losing self-consciousness and relaxing. She has good coordination but is stiff and sometimes fearful. In free outdoor play she is the most relaxed and childlike. She seems to play with a wide variety of friends then and has a good attitude. She seems so afraid she will not "measure up", or is so dependent upon adult praise in the more specific skills, and she wants to show what she can do rather than to be a part of the whole group experience. She can be a happy, spontaneous contributor with a good sense of humor and an interest in others when she lets down her guard. She is being more free and creative in story writing, in dramatizations, and is trying to do less stereotyped work in art. She needs much contact with children outside of school in order to sense some practical give and take. She needs to get more involved in other children's interests. She should have no difficulty academically but her success there will be somewhat influenced by her success socially and her attitude toward work.

E_____ C______

Fair enough; my husband read this and laughed. "Not too far off." He ducked; after twenty-three years of marriage, the man ducked. He has earned the right to know me that well. But is it any wonder we moved, when this woman got promoted to First Grade and my parents were told she'd be my teacher another year?

This, by the way, is the woman who called my parents to the school to inform them that I was a pathological liar. She had asked each of her students to tell the class what our plans were for Christmas break. Mine happened to be traveling to Africa aboard the S.S. United States. "No one takes a five-year-old child to Africa!" E.C. declared. My parents set her straight, and she proceeded to describe to me – in painful detail – the shots I would have to have in order to visit Africa. My parents were less than thrilled with her when they had to drag me to the doctor, kicking and screaming…

 

This teacher also decided that a class full of kindergarteners needed to learn how to use public transportation. So she took us all out of school, loaded us on a city bus, and took us out for donuts. Not that we didn't enjoy the treat, mind you – she just forgot about little things like permission slips and letting the school principal know where we were. My parents came to pick me up, after school, and the whole class was missing!

Oh, as for She shows much interest in learning to read and is much less mechanical about it than she was at first... I could read by the time I was three. E.C. wasn't happy because she couldn't hold my attention with "See Spot run. See Spot pee on the rug." She had the nerve to lecture my parents about teaching me to read. "That's the school's job!" she supposedly said.

 

"Well, what were we supposed to do?" they asked. "Keep the books under lock and key?"

Just one of the fun things I dug out of a cardboard box my dad left here on his last visit. "Holly An's School Years." You should see the dorky picture from Seventh Grade. Or not.

Comments

[Mathilde]

Your parents took to to Africa at 5? There have to be like tons of vaccinations for that.... I couldn't watch it. They were really brave.

[Holly]

I don't even remember, now, what shots I had to have. They weren't any worse than any other shots I ever had (which is really making light of the whole situation in retrospect, me being so needlephobic and all). The trip, though, was a blast. Definitely worth the agony of a few shots. But the teacher? "Ik."

[IG]

[this is good] that woman sounds dreadful. I had one of those teachers--in kindergarten too, come to think of it. another one in sixth grade. i do feel for you. what a hateful letter to write about any little child. eh, maybe someone was overdue for retirement?

[Holly]

Heh...I'm not sure she's retired, yet. I found an article online that she'd written; published in an eZine in 2002. I don't think she was all that old; got me thinking she could easily be about my parents' age or even a tiny bit younger. Even if older, she could still be teaching (or have been teaching up until a few years ago).

[Holly]

I had one in First Grade and another in Third Grade (last I heard, she was still teaching at the elementary school; all my other teachers had moved on or retired, but she was still there tormenting students) - after that, I didn't have too many really hateful teachers. My Seventh Grade Latin teacher was strict, but good - I didn't like her at the time, but I came to appreciate her later. The rest were either good or not memorable. A few stand out in my memory as exceptionally good, kind, and eager to go beyond the call of duty to teach and help their students. So far, my son's had a few of those and no truly awful teachers (though he did have one truly awful Kindergarten assistant teacher, but she didn't last long).

[Red Pen]

[this is good] Wow. Teacher of the year material...not!

[Holly]

When I first heard Harry Chapin's Flowers are Red, I thought of her...and not in a good way.

[Porky without Bess Pig]

[this is good]

I was once a kindergarten teacher and look how I turned out. Oh sorry probably a bad example. The late great Bernard Shaw said "Those who can do, and those who can't: Teach"

She was desparately jealous of your talent which was doubtlessly evident even at the tender age of 5.

Either that or yearned for a child and couldn't have one. Probably one of those Les Miserable type who go into teaching to compensate for an inadequacy we don' t want to know about.